Holy shit, he's 7.

Earlier this month, someone at the barn suggested a celebration for her horse's birthday. She wanted to do champagne, in honor of her mare's name (and also, duh. Champagne is great). I couldn't make it, but never fear! Java absolutely got a birthday party of his own.

Did you know you could order a custom cake with your horse's damn name on it? Because you definitely can. And it definitely can include a hat and a sash and some candles. And even better, it's designed for horses. Aaaaand it's only $35, which seems reasonable to me, for a decent-sized cake of 8 slices and some hella cute photo props. Enter the Snaks 5th Avenchew BirthNeigh Cake.

Photo directly from their website. This, too, can be yours.

It's amazing, I know. If you haven't heard of Snaks, take five and google their shit. I want to eat the damn treats, they look so good. And Java, spoiler alert, agreed.

We weren't able to celebrate exactly on his birthday, the 8th of May, but I managed to wrangle my parents for a little family party. By this time, the frosting had hardened in the fridge enough that I couldn't get the candles in, but it didn't matter; the cake is pretty enough on its own. My mom, however, pointed out the possible obstacle of putting on the party hat. Java is, after all, himself. And that means he's either going to be 100% down to clown with something weird, or he's going to spook his shit right into the rafters. Mom, knowing this, was rightly concerned.

But guess what, mom? My goofball allowed me to put the crinkly foil sash on him, no problem, and when it came to the party hat, he accepted it as his crown like the goddamn prince he is.

Bow down, human.

And then, because he's Java, he begged for cake like a lunatic. Which we gave him, without hesitation, because we couldn't stand how cute he was. Even dad agreed.

Of course his cake is pink. Come on, now.

He is perfect and absurd and I absolutely love him. No shortage of personality here, and in spite of the trouble he can get into, that's how I like it.

Crazy hair (and horse), don't care.